yuuo: (It's amazing to me)
Okay, so I hear both sides of the 'trans women do/don't have male privilege' debate and I want to settle down my side.

This statement is both true and false entirely dependent upon how you define the word privilege.

If a trans woman is not lucky enough to be raised as a transgender girl, she has a lack of privilege in that she grows up misgendered, and- for some -with a nasty case of body dysphoria. That's not privilege. But that kind of privilege that cismen and ciswomen have is cis privilege. That's a different, but intersectional, kettle of fish.

If a trans woman is riased male on into her adulthood, she is raised to understand that her word matters more than that of female-bodied people, that her dick is more important than the reproductive bits of female-bodied people. This is male privilege, and yes, a trans woman most certainly has this kind of male privilege. Society has given that to her, until the age she comes out, and possibly starts transitioning, though not all trans women transition.

Third gender people with the male plumbing have the same problem, most times.

Now, I want to make it clear: any feminism that doesn't include my trans sisters is not a feminism I want.

That said, the table of feminism is large, and has many areas of concern that affect different women (and men) in different ways. This no less makes them women's issues.

But that society-granted male privilege that many trans women had before coming out makes them think that their place there is more important. That's why so many will scream about how we shouldn't call reproductive rights 'women's rights', because 'not all women have vaginas'. Yeah, well, no shit, but it's still part of the feminism table, and not one you belong at, so sit down and shut the fuck up, this isn't your place. This is why I get messages from trans women who bitch at me that I don't know what I'm talking about when I say uterus-related issues don't affect trans women the way they do cis women or trans men or female-bodied third genders, because "omg I want a child the natural way!" as if that had anything to do with what I said.

I'm sorry, my trans sisters, but that is a women's issue you have no place in and need to shut the fuck up. Your word doesn't matter there.

This society-granted male privilege is also why you get trans women screaming "TRANSPHOBIA!" when a straight man or a lesbian woman won't get sexually involved with them, because they have a penis. Guess what, ladies? Not everyone wants your junk. It's really that fucking simple. I won't get sexually involved with a trans woman because penis + me = smash it with a hammer, clip it off, and stick it on a Rotato (TM). It's not because they have 'issues' they 'need to work out'. It's that they don't like dick. End of story.

(On that tangent, I'd like to say that while there is nothing wrong with being a 'gold star lesbian' or whatever the equivalent would be for a straight man, it's how you say you are one that makes the difference between "sorry, not into you and your parts" and "I am a transphobic butthole that needs a two-by-four to the face.")

NOW!

On to the part where they have pretty much the opposite of privilege.

Spending their lives being misgendered. Something cis men and cis women will pretty much never have to worry about. That is cisprivilege that they lack. Many of them grow up with body dysphoria, another thing that those with cisprivilege will never have to go through.

Trans women have a hard time finding places at the feminism table because too many cis women won't count them as 'real women'. This is disgusting transphobia and it needs to end, right the fuck now. Again, any feminism that doesn't include my trans sisters can take a flying leap, just as quickly as white feminism and straight feminism. My trans sisters deserve a place at this table, and there are issues they deal with that a female-bodied person who is not a trans man will never have to deal with, and we need to shut the fuck up and listen, and listen well. We need to stop saying that they're not 'real women'. They are. They're real women, just as much as my wife is, who is a cis woman. They're even more woman than I am, because while I was raised as a cis woman, I am not a cis woman. I'm not a woman. I'm a Third Gender. Just because I don't have body dysphoria (most of the time) about my female body, and don't get worked up over pronouns and generally go by female ones because I'm lazy, that doesn't mean that I am a woman, and my trans sisters are more women than I am, in that sense.

And there are issues they speak of that I will gladly sit down and shut the fuck up and listen to them.

TL;DR, I think the problem is the definition between male privilege and cis privilege. They have (or at least had) one, but never the other. Let's be careful how we define these words, and I think the feminism table will be a happier one.
yuuo: (It's amazing to me)
I don't talk too terribly much about my gender identity- I'm not exactly secretive about it, but I prefer to not talk too much, because I don't need it getting back to my mother and having another argument about GLBT issues that she knows dickall about because she's one of those Christians that make anyone sane hate them all forever without discrimination burn that mother fucking institution down to prevent more like her.

Just to give you an idea of what her stance on those issues is.

But, as it is mentioned in my profile, I'm pretty laid back about my gender identity. I consider myself Third Gender, in that I am both female and male, depending basically upon where my head is. My hormones don't play a role in that, either- I have an IUD that completely flattens everything and keeps them stable.

But, despite being third gender, I am so apathetic about my pronouns that I'll answer to whatever, including 'hey you' if you're nice about it. I tend towards female pronouns because I'm female-bodied and was assigned female at birth. I am super lazy about my pronouns, because- and I stress that this is for me personally, and not my opinion of those for whom it is the opposite -I don't find it a reason to get bitchy. For me, my pronouns aren't a reason to get up into a snit over, because they're not important to me.

Again, I stress that this is for me only. Of course pronouns can be super important, if they're important to the person wanting certain ones used! And I respect that, and will never tell them they're getting up in a tizz about 'nothing' when to them, it isn't nothing.

But for me, in my life, it is nothing.

So you know, keep calling me whatever you wish, I'm cool with it.

Now, that all out of the way, because I'm just sure that if I hadn't, someone would have thrown a cock and bull shitfit at me, and I'm sure there's someone who still would, but I really don't give a fuck about them at that point.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh, right.

Because I've always been comfortable with my female body, or mostly, anyway- my complaints with the icky bleeding thing aside (shut up, I find it icky, that is not ingrained misogyny, that's me hating blood) -I so rarely get body dysphoria. So very rarely. I get a little weird during sex, because that's when my male brain really kicks into gear, but usually, I'm okay with handling my clit or using a fake dick and my fingers to satisfy the need to, you know, thrust.

Right now? No. Oh no.

My libido is rockin' with its tits out, but it wants a penis. Specifically for me to have one. (I am vagina-sexual- cocks don't come near me unless it's fake.) I'm like. "Body. You don't know what it feels like to grab penis and feel it because it's attached to you. You don't. Stop trying to figure out why you can't."

And this makes masturbation very uncomfortable. When your body desperately wants you to be able to grab a piece of external plumbing and go to town, and all you can do is rub at a tiny little nub between a pair of labia lips, it is extremely disorienting, and it makes my reactions to the stimulation weak.

But my libido is driving me crazy and I keep squirming because hot damn, does my body want to orgasm.

Come on, body. Stop this. STOP THIS. STOP THIS THIS INSTANT.

Sigh.

To my fellow vagina-bearing, penis-wanting people, I am feeling that pain something awful right now. Fist bump for surviving without going completely nuts yet.

...

Er.

Maybe not the best wording there.

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